malcolmjamalwarlock

paulftompkins:

This was quite a journey! I spent the better part of a day going back and forth with a guy that I was not entirely sure was for real at first, then I absolutely got fooled, and then I realized I got fooled. It was fun. The guy said some LEGITIMATELY funny stuff when he was “in character.” And it all ended in a way that I felt good about.

It’s pretty much all laid out in the screencaps, But let me elaborate here:

HEY YOUNG MEN! I know it seems like women complain a lot about how they are represented in media, including fiction, and how it seems like they want entertainment tailored specifically to them, and how they seem to want ALL of pop culture to be politically correct or feminist-ized or whatever it is you think they want, but really, what’s happening is that women are tired of seeing garbage women characters in most of our entertainment. And they’re wondering, Would it really be so much trouble to make more realized female characters? You could still have all your CGI and action and science fiction and drama and swords and stuff, but the female characters could be a little more fleshed out and interesting. And the entertainment would still be good and would, in fact, be better.

Guys, instead of  thinking, “Hey, not everything has to be politicized,” try thinking, “I wonder what it would be like for me if the situation were reversed, and how I’d feel if in the vast majority of the entertainment I consumed, the male characters were few and far between and then mostly used as talking props & plot devices. I wonder if I’d get kinda tired of that and occasionally I’d say something, even a little joke, just to ease the annoyance a little.”

Fellows. Listen to the women in your lives. Ask them questions. It will change your perspective for the better. Years ago, I got into a brief argument with two female friends of mine about a movie— it does not even matter which movie— that they viewed as sexist and I did not. I couldn;t even fathom how they could see it that way. I tried to argue that it was not sexist. In recounting our discussion to another party, it was pointed out to me that they might have a different viewpoint based on their life experiences, and that it was not for me to tell them that their interpretation was incorrect. And that I was probably getting defensive about it because if the movie was sexist, it followed that my liking it would make me appear sexist. And that’s when I realized that none of this was about me, and maybe I should shut up and listen and try to understand. And also to be more aware of things like this and develop not just my sympathy, but my empathy.

I will only ever be able to empathize so much with women, because my experience as a white male in America is vastly different from that of anyone who is not that. But I can relate to:

  • not being taken seriously
  • not being listened to
  • being dismissed
  • being condescended to
  • having something explained to me that I already understand

And I having had those experiences, I am now more inclined to TRY to understand where someone is coming from if they are telling me they are having a similar experience with our culture.

So guys: just try. You don’t even really have to dig that deep. Think about your own experiences as a person, then apply that to someone else. It gets easier the more you do it, and it makes your life better.

Anyway, I hear Dawn of The Planet of The Apes is pretty good! 

Paul F. Tomkins and Tom Lennon continue to be my pop culture BFFs. Glad I got solid reminders of this in the last few days.

isabelthespy

Anonymous asked:

QUESTION you mentioned a lot things about bluthyonce like house values, animal, and colors and so naturally i would like to know what those would be for the other three houses at EAGLECREST

sashayed answered:

GREAT QUESTION ABOUT EAGLECREST, THE AMERICAN HOGWARTS. THANKS FOR ASKING! The house system at EAGLECREST differs slightly from that at European wizard schools: students are assigned to a House upon entry, but in acknowledgement of the complexity of human nature and the FREEDOM of AMERICA, each also chooses a Minor or Secondary House at which they spend at least one week per semester. The Houses are as follows.

BLUTHYONCÉ: 

  • values: hilarity, sequins
  • animal:
  • image
  • colors: i know i originally said Caribbean Blue and Tangerine but I think actually it’s Hot Pink + Atomic Tangerine
  • image
  • house located in Thomas Jefferson’s “dreamy” left eye, equipped w/ craft supplies and a bar 
  • house ghost is Dorothy Parker
  • Fun Fact: a bald eagle delivers house copies of Sassy, Vogue Wizard, and J-14 to Bluthyoncé every week. No one knows where the new issues of Sassy come from and no one asks questions. 

JUSTITOPIA: 

  • values: determination and fairness
  • animal:
  • image 
  • colors: Camo and Hemp
  • image
  • house is located in Abraham Lincoln’s “problematic” jaw and has its own pirate radio station
  • house ghost is Ida B. Wells. Justitopia at its best is the REAL SHIT.
  • Fun Fact: Justitopia’s communal garden provides up to 45% of EAGLECREST’s vegetable supply. With the help of a simple avian translation spell, the many Rescue Chickens living in the Freedom Hutchery may also volunteer to donate their unfertilized eggs.

LAXDISICK: 

  • values: affluence, ambition, broery
  • animal: 
  • image
  • colors: seersucker
  • image
  • house is located in TEDDY BROSEVELT, right in the monocle. Has outdoor and indoor badminton courts. 
  • house ghost is Zack Morris.
  • Fun Fact: a small door located behind Laxdisick’s F. Scott Fitzgerald Memorial Bathroom opens into the guest bedroom of some dude’s stepdad’s house on the Vineyard. It is always 1:30pm and partly sunny, and there is always an open sign-up spot for beer pong. Students who attempt to stay at the house for more than an hour, however, are struck with a gradually incapacitating lockjaw and eventually forced to leave.

SHRUGSTAGRAM: 

  • values: chill
  • animal:
  • image
  • colors: Mood Ring
  • image
  • house is located in George Washington’s nose because it’s closest to the main entrance. Every surface is guaranteed nappable. Best Wifi reception in all of EAGLECREST.
  • House Ghost: Walt Whitman.
  • Fun fact: the password to Shrugstagram House (“Uh what?”) has not been changed since 1973.

HOUSE GHOST IS ZACK MORRIS.

notemily
  • Men: If Orange is the New Black is so good with representation, why are all the men horrible?
  • Women: They're not all horrible. Bennett's nice. What more do you want?
  • Men: But he's clueless and irresponsible! And that's just ONE guy! How can you give me ONE decent male character in a slew of diverse female characters and call THAT representation?
  • Women:
  • Women:
  • Women:
  • Women:
  • Women:
  • Women:
  • Women: ...must be tough.
brainstatic
brainstatic:

yawneyeroll:

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 
….
Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.Hilda looked at him expectantly.“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.
….

DICK
ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand

spongy love mountains.

Her snooch got all warm, too.

DICK PARKINSONS.

brainstatic:

yawneyeroll:

thewintersoulja:

frappemako:

the-one-inside:

someottersmarryhedgehogs:

noiselesspatientspider:

iheartuniversecookies:

angelas-extrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 

….

Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.

Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.


Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.


As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”


Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.


“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”

At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.

Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.

Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.

Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!

The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.

She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”

But her bed was empty.

Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

….

DICK

ANEURYSM

GALLOPING ABS

Who told this lady she could write?

Why did she ever stop?

IT GETS WORSE THE FURTHER IN THE PASSAGE YOU GO OMG

i fukcing lost it at meat wand

spongy love mountains.

Her snooch got all warm, too.

DICK PARKINSONS.

abbyjean
I remember at the time thinking everyone was making a big deal out of nothing, and now as a grown woman with two kids I’m like “AW HELL NO SOMEONE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON THAT CHILD YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES LYNN JAMIE DAVID LACHAPPELLE WHYYYYY WOULD YOU THINK THIS IS OK?”On the other hand, it is a really iconic pic, and just a great shot. Ugh, I’m so torn. Britney never had a chance.

I remember at the time thinking everyone was making a big deal out of nothing, and now as a grown woman with two kids I’m like “AW HELL NO SOMEONE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON THAT CHILD YOU SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES LYNN JAMIE DAVID LACHAPPELLE WHYYYYY WOULD YOU THINK THIS IS OK?”

On the other hand, it is a really iconic pic, and just a great shot. Ugh, I’m so torn. Britney never had a chance.

thetopofthecity

lucasbieneke:

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor…

This made me ugly donkey laugh.